The kind of encampments and barriers created in West Bank and Gaza can lead to two possible outcomes after the current intermediate stage- one which seems more likely over the other:

Intermediate: Two state solution – The hard to remove settlements in West Bank, the hills of Syrian (Golan) Heights and Palestinian area will either leave a demilitarised Palestine which keeps on being invaded by Israel or a prolong the current stateless situation. This situation is unsustainable and will change into the following forms:

1. Palestine will exist in small remaining compounds (like Native Americans). This is highly unlikely unless Palestinians are forcibly removed or killed which the IDF have been authorised to do.

2. Creation of Isratin – the one state solution.

Isratin was a taboo topic which has been gaining popularity over the past few months. However, Isratin will be an end of a dream for the Zionists. They will no longer be able to smile anymore because their children will no longer be Zionists in that scenario. The school system that indoctrinated Zionism will be changed, and pressure will be on the Zionists to do more for peace – which is already fully supported by the Palestinians. These children will play hand in hand with Arab children and form bonds of fragile peace which the Zionists have been trying with blood and sweat to avoid. This peace is what the Isratinis will come to treasure. In Isratin when there is something unsettlingly strange it will seem wrong than the daily demolition of homes, and demonising of the Arabs which has become the norm of the Hebrew Zionists (keep in mind that Israeli politicians only know how to lie in English, but not in Hebrew – this is how they manage to fool the world).

Even if Isratin is not forthcoming, and in the eventual graves that all of us will retire shortly to, we’ll be able to satisfy our conscience while we are in the long rest.
For now we have today, and we have tomorrow to try. Even if these dreams remain what they are, the idea would’ve been planted to nurture and grow. Even if there is a better chance for the rain drops to play the Chopin tune then for immediate peace, it is still worth trying for Isratin.

To me, being British is a state of mind. You are what you are if you know the history and the law of the land and are able to integrate with local people without giving up your core values. Should we turn into Maoists and force core values down people’s throats, and forcing them to be a “model” which is perceived at that time.

But, it also reminds me of 7/7 and 9/11, and how much better is London as compared to Boston.

Right after 9/11 and some debate, National Guard used to check everyone’s bags on the train (always at the same stations) – which was a futile exercise. I even wrote to the Boston Metro (as sister of London Metro) newspaper that I am sick of hearing the same announcement about 20 times while going to uni, and the same coming back. They stopped the announcements as well as the searches soon after. It was indeed a futile exercise.

London did not seem to have the paranoia and frenzy that developed in America.

It probably goes to say how UK can reply on its intelligence and the scrutiny that its intelligence agencies can not operate without impunity rather than America’s Intelligence focusing on creating war (to stay in business).

It reminds me on how America can be it own victim and with it the episode of the Twilight Zone: The Monsters are Due on Maple Street. – In the remove monsters are replaced with “Terrorists”

“The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill, and suspicion can destroy, and the thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all of its own; for the children, and the children yet unborn. And the pity of it is that these things cannot be confined…”

I believe it is closely linked to what happen a few decades ago in Hungary which was shown in the movie Sunshine (1999). It reminds me of how being a muslim in Britain means. It best comes out in the quote by Adam Sors (All the sors changed their last name from the Jewish Sonnenschein to something more Hungarian).

Never give up your religion. Not for God. God is present in all religions. But if your life becomes a struggle for acceptance, you’ll always be unhappy. Religion may not be perfect, but it is a well-built boat that can stay balanced and carry you to the other shore. Our life is nothing but a boat adrift on water balanced by permanent uncertainty. About the people whom you will judge, know this; all they do is struggle to find a kind of security. They’re just people, like us. Therefore you mustn’t judge them on the basis of appearance or hearsay. Trust no one. Examine all things yourself. Do not join with power. Despise all rank. Do not be ostentatious with what is yours. Owning possessions and property ultimately comes to nothing. Possessions and property can be consumed by fire, swept away by flood, taken away by politics. Do not undertake what you do not know. This causes anxiety which makes you ill. Exercise discipline.

I hope that with time if we reflect back on this we could have good conclusion to all this as was in the movie when Ivan Sors reflects:

For the first time in my life, I walked down the street without feeling like I was in hiding. My great grandfather Emmanuel must have been the last Sonnenschein to feel like this. I knew the only way to find meaning in my life, my only chance in life, would be to account for it. My grandmother’s words return to me; “Try to photograph what’s beautiful in life.” By the time I finish this story, the third tragic misadventure of the 20th century was over. After the monarchy and fascist rule, the communist regime also went up in smoke. I remembered the recipe book that we had lost and suddenly realized that the family secret was not to be found on its pages. It was preserved by my grandmother. The only one in our family who had the gift of breathing freely.

Maltese people undeniably have a huge Arabic influence with some elements of the culture being intermingled with those of European. I also observed that Maltese seem to be in denial about this Arabic (No, I’m not an Arab) influence calling it as being minimal at best.

Muslim occupation, or Muslim period for a better term (870-1090) saw tolerance and integration of the people with Jews (prospering in Mdina) serving as civil servants and even as a Vizir.

But with “foreign” take over (as it might be called at that time), eventually Muslims were expelled (religious discrimination as well call it now) in the 13^th century.  The Islamic culture and religious motivation was such that, the majority (in 1249) of the Maltese had converted to Islam until all the converts (and other Muslims) were expelled. Jews were expelled in 1492 which shows how hard Malta had become a dark, sinister world of religious intolerance – which is probably even worse than the short periods of war for domination which Malta encountered previously – where a huge population is simply told to “get out”. This isn’t much different from the dispersion of Jews and Muslims to starve to death during the Communist USSR era.

This expulsion gave North Africa a flavour of different kinds of people that you see today. For Malta to progress, while maintaining its existing culture has to be multicultural, diverse in its people and more cosmopolitan for which there is still a long way to go. To reach the highs of Paris or London, diversity in terms of religion has to be apparent as it also brings in culture, food and tourism from all kinds of people. Some may ask, why does Malta not appeal as much to Muslims?

London has seen opening of Halal (Jewish equivalent – Kosher) McDonalds, and Subway, Paris and Brussels have Halal donor and other shops everywhere which Muslims can go to eat from, whereas in Malta, Muslims would stick with either seafood, or vegetarian (cooked without alcohol, of course). Having Halal restaurants in touristy areas would make it more attractive to the 1.4+ billion Muslims of the world. Maldives and Cyprus thus offers a better option currently.

Malta has to recognise and be proud of its Muslim heritage and it is engrained in their history. Accepting it would bring new arts beyond glass blowing such as art, crafts, and calligraphy. Denying the past, and considering it as abhorrent would only increase animosity and distrust, and isolate the local Muslims Maltese from integrating more fully.

Not recognising, and suppressing this part of their culture would make Malta seem more inward rather than being more open. By not acknowledging the good Muslim Malta did for its people would be discriminatory by showing Malta as being embarrassed from its Muslim past.

The reason I mention this is because, describe Malta as being tolerant verbally – once in a while, a letter gets published in Malta about non-Muslim Maltese being scared of inter-marriage between people of different religions (Muslim-Christian mainly). But tolerance also means respecting as well as being aware of another persons religious preferences and restrictions and at the same time, how the friendly Maltese can accommodate that.

Iran is a well known rival of Israel, but has the largest Jewish population in Middle East that are protected by the state and living peacefully in that country. Likewise, same goes with Jordan and Syria that have huge Christian populations. The minority people as are the sugar of the community as they show how well they are respected, and that they can live peacefully in such a tolerant country.

Being religious as opposed to not believing in God is a good thing in this day and age, however, there has been lack, or no attempt at all to investigate Islam and what Muslims in Maltese are. It is as though the latter do not exist.

It’s about time that as Malta enters the fold of Euro it also makes itself attractive for Muslims visitors and accept the Muslim past of Malta. It should accept more (of course, the type that can contribute positively to the community) Muslims into its society more openly rather than move backwards by expelling them, or creating barriers, or turn Malta into a society which looks downwards on people of other religions.

It’s about time Malta knows it was Muslims majority country once, and how that contributed to its development.

The only thing certain is that in my consciousness, the writer, does it have a predetermined meaning. Only when the reader tries to connect would they be able to understand the meaning, that me as a writer has tried to conveyed, only ten, does a meaning with the target audience gets created.

But by writing all this as a “blog”, do I try to refuse facing the real person behind the mask writing this blog. Perhaps in order to avoid myself, do I write these words. Perhaps I’m saying what I felt, or what I thought. But this is me. But this is a biased me. However, this is also subjectivity through which the objective matter is presented. This subjectivity hides the reality from only my perspective. I keep some feelings concealed while reveal the others. Is this fair?

These desires to speak out does not have a body, but by relying on words, perhaps I can create a whole new me, but blurring what I currently am, and denying my current self. But is this something to detest?

Perhaps these two shells of mine should be acknowledge by denying one another, but the truth is that the real me has to be a merger between the two which defines and recreates myself.

My desires, and wishes would still be the same, so perhaps I’m not really changing anything!

Not many Kashan’s exist in this world. And of the rare few, I chose to be anonymous for now, and reveal only parts necessary as I go along with this blog.

Everyone watching the news, watching documentaries and learning encounters moments of great sadness at the state of the world that has become in which we live.

When you turn on the news, you watch faces of people. Some of the faces people encounter are people aiming for grandeur, or people in great grief. These are the face that you remember for life.

I got to watch Robert Fisk’s documentary (Ends of the Earth) Beirut to Bosnia.

One of these faces which captured my attention was of an old lady who was a victim of the Bosnian war.

She was uprooted from her home because of the war, and managed to escape the direct effects of the war. When asked about what her plans are, she kept a strong face, and that maybe the international community will take care of them.

She radiates a sense of confidence which people around her do not have. This may be because she has a child-relative she is hugging.

Robert Fisk continued on asking questions to people with many moments of silence of people wondering even if they should have been alive.

In a few minutes, Robert interviews the woman again, but this time with a photo of her enjoying a picnic with her relatives. He asks her which ones are dead. Most of them were, including her mother and husband.

Then Robert asks, “What do you think when you look back at these days now?”

It was a rather blunt and direct question.

She get caught off guard and says,

“What?”

“Why ask when you know everything? Please don’t ask me.”

She raises her hand and gets up, with a shakey voice.

She continues, “I’m sorry. I don’t have any strength anymore.”

The fascade she was trying to put up that everything is all right had been broken down. She walks away crying, trying to wipe the tears. She is going to be a refugee and then scattered somewhere in Europe.

I realise that she is more of a victim and her dead relatives as she has to live with great grief throughout her life.

Another face that I can’t forget was aired recently in “Unreported World – Kosovo , State of Denial”

Sam Kiley reports about Susan, who is a Serbian mother of three living in Kosovo. Her children, and the Albanian husband died in recent raid by “security forces”, during which she was raped. Now she is the only Serbian in the town.

Being a Serb, she is unable to find employment in Kosovo. She now feeds what is left of her family from the city dump (see bottom right of the photo). This includes the cloths that she is wearing. I saw the same attempt in her face to be willingly presenting a mask of strength for the camera, as the Bosnian woman had.

In the deep recesses of the night, you think about what the world has turned into, this is symbolised by the faces of extreme grief that you can’t ever forget.

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I have come a long way over the past year in my health.

I decided to get tested for CDH1 E-Cadherin mutation which is a dominant genetic trait which runs in my maternal family which causes about 70% of the people to get the notoriously hard to detect, diffused gastric cancer after 20+ (average age: mid 30s).

After submitting my blood to be tested, I kept of delaying my results as I was always busy with something. After about 6 months, and starting a new career as well as visiting India (being a Pakistani citizen, it was an interesting experience), I finally decided to get my results. To my amazement, it turns out I had the mutation.

The two options for me, at 26 were to either have total gastrectomy, or to have the inefficient, 6-monthly gastroscopies. God-willingly, in my first gastroscopy, it was found I had signet ring cells (Cancer stage 0 – which might not even develop).

But having signet ring cells, as well as my genetic tendency to have gastric cancer (which is a horrible way to succumb as near the end, the person cannot eat anything at all), I decided to have the operation done. Shortly after I turned 27, I had the operation, and with the support of Yahoo Group called HDGC, I am finally recovering. I haven’t belched in a week, and plan to return to work in another week hopefully.

Egypt made peace after Sinai was returned to it, and Jordan unconditionally accepted peace without negotiating on West Bank after its capture. Now, many Muslim men and women which includes Pakistanis get turned away from Israel on simple indication that they plan to visit West Bank to visit sites of the Prophets (peace be upon them), or even Jerusalem to pray in the holy mosques.

We, Pakistani have not been able to pay the same respect to Al-Aqsa as we do to the other two mosques in Makkah and Madina. In fact, young Pakistani’s cannot travel to Saudi Arabia unless they have an elderly, or a woman accompanying the group. On top of that, they need the booking to be made via a travel agent rather than book directly and save on the hefty commission the travel agents charge.

To travel to Israel, one simply needs to have a passport valid beyond 6 months, a hotel and return flight booking (and in my case, being a Pakistani obtain a visa…somehow). Visa’s offered can be paper based with stamps on a separate paper, leaving no trace of having visited Israel, or in our case, the third holiest site in Islam – Al Aqsa, as it says in the hadith:

Visiting al-Masjid al-Aqsa and praying there is Sunnah when it is possible to do so, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “No journeys should be made specifically to visit any mosque except three: al-Masjid al-Haraam [in Makkah], this mosque of mine [in Madeenah] and al-Masjid al-Aqsa [in al-Quds/Jerusalem].” (Saheeh – agreed upon).

Why, we as Muslims are having strange restrictions on visiting Makkah and Madina (to have an accompanying  female relative and booking via travel agent), and not even allowed (officially, by the Muslim Pakistani government rather than the Jewish Israeli government) to visit Al Aqsa. If someone blocks access to our holy sites or create restrictions, does this not form a case for war? Should we declare a war on Saudi (for creating unnecessary restrictions in visiting Makkah and Madina) or the Pakistani government (for creating problems in visiting Al-Aqsa)?

If very few or no Muslims visit Al Aqsa, wouldn’t it make it easy for Christian right wings to destroy it to fulfil their prophecy of the building of the third temple of Solomon before Judgement Day will come, as it is already has been attempted a couple of times in the past? If Makkah or Madina was held by non-Muslims, will be boycott visiting those places?

Maybe the Pakistani government is oblivious to the truth by waiting for peace to come before establishing relations as it is not an effective measure. The rain drops have a better chance of playing the Chopin tune, than the peace to come, and in the mean time, many Muslims have foregone the chance to visit Jerusalem.

Being subjective about it rather than directly aiming for it would also hide and twist the core truth of the matter – to visit Jerusalem.

Perhaps it is us as much at fault as the Pakistani Governments as it is a taboo to talk about Israel in some circles. If Pakistani deals openly with Israel, wouldn’t it be in direct position to talk about the checkpoints which make Palestinian life harder, or with the Palestinians if anything can be done about concessions?

It is about time that I apply for a visa and travel to Al Aqsa to give it the respect it should be given, come what may! Let’s hope the coming government does something about it and make a visit to Al-Aqsa easy for each and every Pakistani citizen. And by some odd chance, I’m able to get the visa to visit Jerusalem.